Our loved ones come from all walks of life…model families, single parent families, ones with dominant or submissive mothers, weak or strong fathers…there is no pattern.

Our loved one may be an only child, the youngest, the oldest or one of twins. In some families one child is special. In others, two or more.

We can be free of the burden of guilt about our loved one's sexual orientation.

We have survived, you will too. Remember, life goes on regardless; how it goes on is now in your hands.

Unconditional love is just that. Nothing less. Nothing more.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people are now, and always have been, a natural part of every culture, religion, ethnic group and occupation in every part of the world.

Gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans people are mentally healthy. Mental Health groups have recognized that homosexuality and gender expression can be very emotional issues but they are not mental disorders. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans individuals can and do establish stable long lasting relationships, often work for a living, and shop, vote and yes, even pay taxes just like everyone else.

Sexuality and gender identity are neither chosen nor learned. In spite of extensive research, there is no universal agreement about how they are determined. We do know that gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual individuals may “feel” different at a very early age. No one can be taught or influenced to become gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, therefore the fear of “catching it” or of being “recruited” is groundless.

Lesbian, gay, trans and bisexual individuals are often part of a family. They may have parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews whom they love and who love them.

Many GLBT individuals succumb to the pressure of society to get married, have children, etc. only to realise that the inner turmoil is too great and they can no longer exist “Living a Lie.”

Rejection of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans family members by their own families is a tragedy for the whole family.

Some helpful responses when your child “Comes out to you”

Listen. Don’t reject your loved one through anger or insistence that “it’s only a passing phase.”

Ask questions about that which you don’t understand.

Avoid blaming your loved one for “living a lie all these years.”
Perhaps you weren’t told earlier because their greatest fear was “the risk of losing your love and being rejected by you.”

Talk. Don’t bear the burden alone. It’s not a disgrace unless you make it one. Talk with other parents of a gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans child. Please respect your loved one’s privacy by checking with him or her about those with whom it is acceptable to share your knowledge.

Talk with your loved one. Ignoring the subject would not be considered acceptance, but more like blotting out that part of your loved one's life.

Read. Many books are available at bookstores, libraries and at our PFLAG gatherings.

Contact Information

By phone call (613) 860-7138 (if no answer, please leave message)

PFLAG-Ottawa
Box 71028
181 Bank Street
Ottawa, Ontario
K2P 1WO

You can also contact us by e-mail at ottawaon@pflagcanada.ca.

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PFLAG Ottawa promotes the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning persons and their families, friends and spouses through:

• SUPPORT, to cope with an adverse society;
  
• EDUCATION, to enlighten an often ill-informed public; and,
  
• ADVOCACY, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights.

PFLAG provides an opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender expression,and acts to ensure a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

PFLAG is committed to helping others learn what we have learned and to help change attitudes to ensure an environment of understanding so our gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans loved ones can live with dignity, pride and self-respect.

PFLAG Ottawa Meetings

When: Our gatherings begin in September after our first organisational meeting so please join us on the first and third Wednesday of each month from September through June.

Where: St. John’s Anglican Church, corner of Somerset West and Elgin streets in Ottawa

Time: 7:30 p.m. (19h30)

For more information contact:
PFLAG Ottawa: (613) 860-7138
or Pink Triangle Services (613) 563–4818
(If no answer, please leave a message.)
E-mail: ottawaon@pflagcanada.ca

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Here is a short list of titles available in our library. For a more complete listing go to our Library Page. The titles in the library may help you understand what is happening to the son or daughter or family member during the time of transition toward acceptance. The resources may be used for both self-help and for workshops for larger groups. If there is a title that you are interested in please contact us and we will try our best to assist you.

Now That You Know, By Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward. Things that every parent should know about homosexuality.

On Being Gay, By Brian McNaught. Few People have been able to discuss their lives in such a delightful and Moving way.

One Teenager In Ten, By Ann Heron. Ordinary kids tell what it is like to deal with a world that isn't always on their side.

Beyond Acceptance, by Carolyn Welch Griffin, Marian J. Wirth and Arthur G. Wirth. Parents of lesbians and gays talk about their experiences.

The New Loving Someone Gay, by Don Clark. Removes much of the mystery and fear that surrounds gay people and helps families and friends confront their own confusion and prejudices to build new, open and more meaningful relationships.

There are also many book and video titles available through the Kelly McGinnis Library at Pink Triangle Services. This Library is located in Suite 508, 177 Nepean St (at Bank St) and may be reached by telephone at (613) 563-3967 or by Email to library@pinktriangle.org

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