You must be
the change
you wish to see
in the world
~ Ghandi

It wasn’t one involving a gun or a hold-up. There wasn’t any extortion or theft. Yet it was a crime. A horrendous crime. One that we all commit every day.

Granted you can laugh when you find out where I saw it but if you look deeper, you will not be laughing.

Last week I had the good fortune to leave the lab a bit early. On days like this I usually rush home and turn on the Simpsons, escape into a world of hilarity. But this day was different because my better half was home and together we decided to watch Oprah, a sometimes guilty pleasure.

This episode was different. This episode was dealing with a little boy, who’s name I can’t remember, who had killed himself one day after school because he could not take the loneliness anymore. Oprah had his mother on set, who was trying to explain her case. Briefly, she had left him alone every night while she tended to her job and did not know that every day he was being bullied at school. The reasons for the bullying were like those we’ve all heard before but amounted to no real reason at all. He was different, in that sort of way some children are just “different” just to give the “normal” children a scapegoat, a common target. He would arrive at school neglected, dirty, unbathed, clothes unmatched, possibly soiled, possibly worse. Most of these facts were obscured by the various sources telling the story. The one thing they agreed upon only that one day after school he had ended his pain by ending his life. I kept asking myself “what drives a boy to do such a thing?” and I cried for him. When other boys his age are busy with toys, toons, fun in all shapes and sizes, this poor boy had only misery, pain, and loneliness. He was a boy in obvious need of communication. And there wasn’t a single person there to listen. Not one. NO ONE.

And that is a crime.

Sure, now that it’s done everyone is talking about it. Can’t wait to talk about it. Ooh child! Talking about it on Oprah! School blaming family, sibling blaming mother, mother blaming the world. Vicious circles of blame swirling all over the airwaves. Sensational. “How did this happen?” “SOMETHING SHOULD BE DONE!”

But how many other children – how many of us – are out there RIGHT NOW, lonely, in need of communication and yet with no one there to listen? How many pass us by every day, just a little quieter, a little sadder, a little bit different, and yet we never ask them what’s up? There is a reason they are the way they are. Look deeper. Ask.

It’s easy to dismiss that which we do not want to see. It’s easy to walk away, forget it, and pretend that it does not exist. Because if we did not walk away, we would have to confront it and see that it is real.

In the child that has no one to talk to.
In the friend who gets angry when you don’t call.
In the mother who buries herself in housework.
In the man who tells his secrets to virtual strangers because he has no one else.
In the woman on the street and the guy in the bar.
In the random person we see every day.
And in ourselves.

For so many reasons, realizing that the world is filled with loneliness may be a difficult thing to face but what choice do we have? Do not run from it. Confront it. Listen to those around you. Ask questions. Talk to strangers. Say “hello.” Look deeper. Unplug. Communicate. Learn about the people that share your life, your planet. And in learning about them, you will learn about yourself.

Make the world a little less lonely.

~ Name withheld by request